"La la la la la la... we can't hear you!" - Comcast

Good news for everyone who has had to endure endless conversations with the Comcast retention staff! The monster conglomerate has come up with a new strategy to keep customers from canceling service: leave them on hold. 

Leave them on hold. It's brilliant in its childish simplicity. Can't expect me to clean my room if I didn't hear you tell me to; can't cancel your service if I didn't answer your cancellation call.

After a month of trying to get Comcast to improve his service, Aaron Spain gave up and decided to cancel. Like everyone else, he was sent through the computerized menu maze (no, he would not like to order Big Knockout Boxing) until he finally got the option to cancel. But instead of being forced into an argument with surly retention staff, Spain was promptly placed on hold. For over three hours. Until they closed. 

They never even ended the call, or gave him the option to be put into a queue to speak with someone tomorrow. They just let his phone tick away on hold, presumably hoping he'd pass out from rage before they'd have to handle his call. He even calls from another line to confirm that Comcast is in fact closed while he is still on hold, proving that this corporation is not only faceless, it has no ears.


I'm sorry, we are too busy lying to other customers to handle your request, please hold.

And there it is, a monster company acting like a giant spoiled baby that has chosen to distort a mother's advice: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

(by Myka Fox)