You always get the best drugs from surgery.

A woman got caught smuggling 2 kilos of cocaine in her breast implants. That's about $30,000 per tit if it were sold on the US streets, or the amount it would cost to get 12 breast augmentations. 

According to the Euro Weekly News, the 43-year-old Venezuelan woman landed in Madrid from a flight from Bogota, Colombia (no prizes for having guessed that one) when cops decided to question her because they noticed "a nervous attitude and strange behavior."

Once she was getting all the attention a woman with implants deserves, they noticed her breasts had, "certain irregularities and odd shapes."

Well, I never!

The woman broke under the pressure (fortunately, her implants didn't). She fessed up to the fuzz and was immediately transported to a hospital to get the literal fun bags removed. As soon as the surgery was over she was arrested for drug smuggling. 

I don't know what's weirder, agreeing to transport coke in her tits or ratting herself out. I'm not saying she should have agreed to do this in the first place, but once you've already healed and made it off the plane... you might as well get some money out of the whole ordeal and stay out of jail. I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to just cut you open to look for cocaine, no matter how lumpy you are. 

Edit: A previous version of the article had the country misspelled as "Columbia." My apologies to anyone who found that to be too disgusting to read. 

(by Myka Fox)