pro·fan·i·ty (prəˈfanətē) n. - language that repressed prigs want to say but do not

Some people over at Marchex—a "mobile advertising technology company," which seems to be a fancy way of saying "some kind of fucking network of call centers or something"—decided to take data mined from 600,000 goddamned customer service calls, made to a bunch of different companies, over the course of a year and comb it for profanity. "Asshole," "shit" and "fuck" specifically. They then figured out which state residents were most likely to curse during these calls and which were least likely to. Or, to put it another way, which state residents were least likely to put up with stupid fucking customer service bullshit, and which were most likely to. The results are kind of interesting.

Turns out the residents of Ohio have the filthiest mouths, which makes sense if you've ever been to Ohio. Cursing is pretty much the only thing there is to do. Also in the top 5: Maryland, Louisiana, New Jersey and Illinois. (Those last two are my state of birth and current residence, which doesn't fucking mean anything really, but I find it entertaining.) Washington and a bunch of other boring ass states topped the list of least profane, so they probably think they're all hot shit.

Marchex then did the same thing with the words "please" and "thank you," to see who which state residents were the most polite.


po·lite (pəˈlīt) adj. - lacking the courtesy to show one's true feelings 

BuzzFeed commenter, and Maryland resident, Jessica Hassan made probably the most astute observation based upon the data: "I like how Maryland is 2nd for most likely to curse and 3rd for most courteous. 'Go fuck yourself, please and thank you.'" And that actually is pretty fucking representative of the Maryland experience. It is right next to Washington DC.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Sources: Marchex Institute | h/t BuzzFeed