The CIA gave an update on Tupac's whereabouts today.
Tupac is everywhere, of course, because he is a hologram.
The CIA is being extra funny today. The comedy institution and part-time spy agency has only been on Twitter a month, but it's been such a wonderful month for them, apparently, that they are already celebrating their "Twitterversary" with some A+ dead-people humor with regards to the 1996 murder of rapper Tupac Shakur.
No, we don’t know where Tupac is. #twitterversary— CIA (@CIA) July 7, 2014
Oh, man, the CIA hasn't made the American people laugh like this since their classic "waterboarding isn't torture" routine. Ah, the CIA. They actually do kill people, including assassinations, so their jokes about murdered folks have that extra "edge" you just can't get anywhere else. Plus, it's the joke that keeps on giving, because conspiracy nuts will bring this back up over and over. Certainly, it's a lot bolder than their first tweet:
We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.— CIA (@CIA) June 6, 2014
The CIA did prove that one thing I had presumed dead was still alive: the "where's Tupac?" joke. I thought, like everyone else, that it had been brutally gunned down in a Las Vegas comedy club by unidentified audience members (possibly East Coast tourists). Now, it turns out that anything could be possible.
As for the man himself, however, Tupac is alive, well, and attending Golden State Warriors games.
(by Johnny McNulty)