Little do they know he plans to set off an EMP and steal everything from them.
As you may recall, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made a pretty hilarious joke about George Clooney at the Golden Globes (you can watch below if you missed it). Afterwards, Clooney vowed to get revenge, and his multi-part plan has already started, as he revealed on Sirius radio. Part 1, as he describes above, involved playing a very hurt Matt Damon. While he didn't 100% fool Amy and Tina this time, he apparently has something "downright dirty" planned that even he might not go through with. I assume it's marrying a 50-year-old woman as a joke.
So THAT's what a good awards show monologue looks like...
(by Johnny McNulty)