Django looks pissed. And maybe a little constipated.

The cat appears to be stoned? A bit judgey, aren't we? Did the cat commit an interspecies abduction last night? Oh wait! That was you, upstanding Chico, CA alcoholic who got so drunk he needed a living, breathing souvenir for the evening! How does one "haphazardly" go for a glass of water in his own home, btw? Do you live in an obstacle course?

The cat looks stoned because it can barely open its eyes to look upon you, it's so disappointed by what it sees. Maybe read the collar again to see if there's a phone number or address or something. It's rare that cats wear collars just so the owner can let neighborhood drunks know which Quentin Tarantino character the cat was named after.

After you give the cat back, pull yourself together. You're out of control.

(by Bob Powers)

Sources: Redditor theboxmccloud | Craigslist