In case you can't make it more than three seconds into this appallingly self-indulgent music video, here's the story: After a five-year relationship, Brooklyn couple Jonathan and Ivory (we hate them already) are calling it quits. But rather than just go their separate ways and bitterly divide up their friends like normal human beings, these two living Wes Anderson characters decided to record this song — because apparently even the end of relationships require viral videos at this point. It makes us sad to know these two manic pixie nightmares will soon be ruining someone else's lives, but at least we can take solace in the fact that they have agreed not to procreate. Their combined DNA would have undoubtedly created the Hipster Antichrist.

Sources: NY Daily News