You want to see my tattoos? I'd be honored to share them with you. (Via Miami Beach PD)

Yesterday the Miami Beach Police Department opened up their "Biebs Forever" scrapbook and released a pile of pics they took to commemorate the night they arrested Justin Bieber for driving real fast while wasted and on suspicion of being a tool (that last charge was later dropped). These new images are of all that sweet Bieber Ink, a collection of photos of Justin's tattoos they took to keep on file should they ever need identifying information on the most famous juvenile delinquent since Dennis the Menace.

We're sure Bieber has a story to tell for each of these tats. Let's listen!


"Let's start with this squiggly thing. I saw it and thought, cool! A messed up "S" for Selena Gomez who messed up my heart. The tattoo guy said it had something to do with music but no idea if that's true. I paid him extra to shut his stupid fucking mouth and do his job."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"I wanted to express my love of joking around with this 'Love + Jester' tat. I'm a real cut-up. Ask any South American prostitute and they'll tell you how hilarious I am."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"I sold the rights to this arm in a $3 million licensing deal with Ed Hardy. I can't even use it to pick up stuff anymore. Worth it for this badass jungle scene, though."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"Probably didn't need to lift my shirt this high just for that little tat, but check out how cut my pube bones are. You could grab onto them and go water-skiing! That's all Bowflex, bro."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"This bible quote really spoke to me ever since that time I stubbed my toe getting out of bed to do an emergency wake and bake."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"Calf Muscle Jesus prays for us sinners, and our ACLs."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"This is how many chances I'll get before I'm asking Lindsay Lohan for career tips."
(Via Miami Beach PD)

 


"BTW, what do you guys think of my hair and outfit?
I wanted to look like Rachel Maddow if she was a wind-up toy penguin. Nailed it?"
(Via Miami Beach PD)

(by Bob Powers)

Sources: H/T CBS Miami