About time someone campaigned on the issues. Specifically Tom Corrigan's issues with pyromania. Since this is Fourth Of July week we'd like to start it off by taking a controversial stance: Fireworks are boring. They make our neck hurt and parking is difficult and the only thing anyone wants to see is the finale and finales remind us of death. There are children there also. Please note, this does not mean we hate America. Our relationship with America is the same as it's always been: it's complicated.

Sources: The Daily What