Just seems like a really chill, helpful neighbor who loves life and fun. (Via)
The laundry room is the land of broken promises. (Via)
The "we're watching you" makes it seem like you're into it. (Via)
But I'm looking for a hot tub buddy with "benefits." (Via)
You fear intimacy. Other people's really loud intimacy.
Wow! Imagine how bad the response would have been if they hadn't added the "Thanks."
If the cranking and wanking's too loud, you're too...tasteful musically. (Via)
The more you f**k with her trash, the more she'll love you. That's just Steph!