This is what pizza places write on your receipt when you call them while stoned.
RESTAURANTS


We couldn't understand them, but they sounded at least $26 worth of hungry.

Dear Stoners,

We know you're stoned.

Sincerely,
Everyone You Talk To

Now that I've caused some guy who's really high right now to freak out in his apartment, let's discuss this receipt. When you work at a pizza place, stoners are going to call you, and they are going to be difficult to understand. They'll be easier to understand than someone who is slobbering drunk (and less likely to assault your driver), but there's a good chance they'll forget what they're ordering, take 40 minutes to do it, send you to the wrong address, or all of the above.

Usually, people who work at delivery places develop the ability to translate highspeak into English, but according to the guy who posted this, the person answering the phones was "fluent and they still couldn't understand!" Just a reminder, stoners: you can always order online (or write out what you want on paper first). 

Of course, you can always call and order the old-fashioned way. You should just know that we're laughing at and judging you.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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