Heartbroken guy posts Missed Connection trying to track down a girl after swiping the wrong way on Tinder. Is she you?
MODERN ROMANCE


Paul Rudd and Katherine Heigl in...Swiped Away.

Dammit, this pisses me off. People want so badly to find love, but they're so careless about seizing it when it's staring them right in the face while they're on the toilet. Check out what could have been in this tragic Missed Connection ad:

Do we think we're going to live forever? Live another day to swipe tomorrow? That's it, isn't it? We all think we'll have unlimited chances to shallowly rate the love of our lives based solely on appearance. But guess what, gang. You're dying. We're all dying. So pull up your pants and wipe your ass (not in that order) because love isn't going to wait for you to swipe the right way.

Anyway, if you're blonde, pretty, and in your mid-20's, some dude in Vancouver who smells real bad right about now is in love with you. Go to him. He needs your cup size and to make a withdrawal from your bank account (to buy new pants). 

What are you waiting for? GO TO HIM!

(by Bob Powers)

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