5 Internet Things you better not have missed on the Internet this week.
INTERNET THINGS

5. A dad annotated his kid's insane Christmas wish list. Deadspin writer Drew Magary has a 7-year-old daughter. She handed him this incredibly ambitious Christmas list detailing her desires for this year. Drew was so blown away he had to go online and publish his reactions to each item line-by-line. I could summarize it for you, but I think this quick snippet does it more justice. Also, great Galactus reference.
 


When the AARP mailer comes along, you must whip it.

4. How 80s Pop bands have aged. In short, with mixed results. DJ Rio, a New York radio host made a massive post to his blog, collecting current photos of all the big 80s New Wave stars. Some of them have stayed glamorous, some (like the above photo of Devo) have just turned into normal middle-aged people, and others have done not so well. Whether you lived through the 80s or pretended to because you were born in them, this is one of the best pop culture time capsules I've seen in a while.
 


UGH! JUST TELL ME WHAT THE REBELS WERE WEARING, ALREADY!!!

3. If a women's magazine editor edited a BBC article about Syria. Why does it always seem like the people who treat women the dumbest are the people who publish things explicitly for women? This excellent satire by Sarah Miller, published in The Hairpin gets going quickly, despite being so text-heavy (alright, fine, I'm pretty much the person this editor is trying to dumb things down for). Also, I actually learned things about Syria. Maybe if women's magazines actually published articles like this, they would discover they don't need to underestimate their audience so much. I dunno. I'll take my crazy ideas elsewhere, I guess.
 


 

2. One Pulitzer-Prize-winning poet's hilarious attempts to name the car that would become the Edsel. It was the most spectacular automobile failure of all time, but it didn't have to be. Before the car company settled on Edsel as the name for that famously ugly behemoth with the toilet-seat-shaped radiator, Marianne Moore, "an American modernist poet and writer noted for her irony and wit" tried to give it what would have been the most inspiringly bizarre names in vehicular history, which the site Letters of Note has made public in all its bizarre glory. An acquaintance of hers who worked in Ford's marketing department reached out for help naming their new flagship model. Her suggestions are one of the few things for which I'd still be willing to use the word "epic," and the correspondence with the delighted but confused Ford team is terrific. While "UTOPIAN TURTLETOP" ended up being the series' big finale, my personal favorite remains "VARSITY STROKE." Gross.
 


1,000 pounds of baby fat.

1. Watch the first two years of this baby elephant's life in two minutes. Do I really need to describe this with anything more than saying the elephant's name is Lily, and a bunch of "awwwww...ooohhhhhh....awww....yaaayyyy" noises? OK, fine, the video is from the Oregon Zoo, and Lily is an endangered Asian elephant, a species that continues to face threats from China's insatiable ivory demand. In Oregon, however, they're only hungry for her cuteness.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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