These are a bunch of idiots in a photo posted by the idiot in the middle, who is from Martha's Vineyard. While their photo did get 29 likes, it also got its own page on The Smoking Gun, which is pretty much the last site you ever want to be featured on. There the world was introduced to these people's real identities and histories. Allow me to introduce the least sympathetic people you will ever meet:
1. First up, on the left, we have the inestimable William Filene, 25, of Cape Coral, Florida sporting a very retro shoepolish blackface look with a gunshot/bloodstain-pattern sweatshirt. Mr. Filene has been arrested for auto theft and loitering/prowling (not in that hoodie, I presume). His auto theft arrest was in June, to which he pled guilty and is now on probation. In other words, he is actually the guy Neighborhood Watch is supposed to be looking for, and without blackface he looks just like his mugshot.
2. The girl in the green "costume" in the middle is Caitlin Cimeno, resident of Martha's Vineyard. Caitlin lives far out to sea with a bunch of other white people, which may explain her online behavior. Don't get me wrong, although it's clear that she's endorsing, enjoying, and posting this photo on Facebook, I realize she is not part of this costume. She is Robin Hood, sort of. It's a little tougher, however, to explain why she thought this was a good caption for a photo of an African-American woman wearing a shirt that says "Black Girls Rock":
"First of all, sorry Hun but mommy lied to you & secondly if I was wearing a shirt that said
something like the truth 'white girls rock' I would be stared at and called a racist cracker."
First of all, walk into any Urban Outfitters and you'll see about 30 varieties of shirts urging people to acknowledge the awesomeness of Irish, Italian, German, whatever-kind-of-White-you-want girls, and secondly, that is not why you get called a racist cracker. That may have more to do with posting "text ne niggs"(sic) in response to people asking to get in touch. Don't worry, I think we all know that this little incident won't keep Ms. Cimeno out of any of the clubs she hopes to join in life.
3. Finally we have big brother Greg Cimeno, 22, also of Cape Coral, Florida. Greg is a carpenter. He's easily the most boring character in this story, except for how he waded into the comments on the photo to refute a charge that the photo was "not too funny" by agreeing and then adding "it's fucking hilarious!" He may have also left off the "d" in neighborhood, which has been driving me nuts all morning. It also makes me keep trying to think of a reason why it would be on purpose. Something about Hoodies. Hoo-d. I think it was just a mistake, but I don't like being forced to think about racist riddles. Screw you, Greg the douchebag carpenter.
Screw all you guys.
(by Johnny McNulty)