Seriously. I'm not kidding. The cats, they WILL run outside. YOU are POWERLESS.
Was this note put up all at once? Was the first note insufficient, so they put up a second one, only to have "The Big One" pull his Jedi mind tricks and fool everyone again? What will The Big One do next? Does it have a name besides The Big One? More importantly, should it? Why is the maintenance guy coming over? Is the sink leaking? Do I remember what we're talking about? What's this button over here? Is that the fire alarm? Do you mind if I run out for a second?