Bench has better sex life than you.
GRAFFITI

No matter how successful you've been in the romance department lately, you can't compete with the endless parade of butts this plank of wood has seen: Wide ones, skinny ones, uncomfortably muscular ones, men, women, the occasional seeing-eye dog — it doesn't discriminate. You're probably thinking of sitting on it right now, aren't you? You dirty slut. Just don't try and fall asleep here. This bench isn't ready for that kind of commitment.

[ Via Dana DeArmond ]
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