The guys from Bad Lip Reading have returned with another round of nonsensical reinterpretations of Mitt Romney clips, creating what we imagine it would sound like if Romney's cybernetic brain stem suddenly started malfunctioning in hilarious but weirdly brilliant ways. This Romney is here to tackle the real issues: people rubbing on their messy parts, lost Guinea pigs, and yo momma Karen's pig ear. If this was the guy running against Obama, he'd have our vote in a heartbeat. We can hear the slogan now: "Chop a squid. Mash a pickle. Vote for Romney."