Look, we've all done it: you try to bring a delicate baby animal into a sleazy, dimly lit strip club and, when the staff unfairly bars you from entering, you hide in some bushes and call the police to report this appalling act of discrimination. Then of course, you curse out the officers when they arrive because, hey, you've had a long night. Easy mistake, right? And yet somehow, Everett Lages ended up being arrested for this very common, very understandable chain of events. This is the most trouble he's been in since he tried to smuggle a puppy into his favorite opium den.