30% of that guilt is from fapping while eating pie with a hangover. 'Cause you're single.
You may not realize it, but there are a lot of numbers that go into Thanksgiving, from football scores, to the number of chairs around the table, to the amount of wine (in gallons) your aunt puts away before dinner, to the number of times your grandfather calls you a pansy. Thankfully, these pie charts, flowcharts, and Venn diagrams encapsulate all those miserable measurements in painfully accurate visual form.
When you're reminded to be grateful that the red circle is bigger than the green circle.
In our house, the eating doesn't stop just because we're also yelling. Projectile arguments.
The best Thanksgiving gift are earplugs to keep out Christmas music.
Ironically, the cannibalism started right after Thanksgiving. Gotta save those leftovers!
Thanks Grandma! Getting the hell out of here is what family is all about.
This almost seems outdated. Dear god, we're fat.
Just like when the first Pilgrims got drunk and stole the Indians' country!