Birch away, girlfriend!
Suicide notes were way more eloquent before the invention of texting.
You have to learn to love crying.
First go back and kill Hitler! Then deal with your ex. Priorities!
You should put an Ace bandage on that head ace.
You were missed. The seconds you were away felt like full minutes!
Have a good trip?
Great! If you don't want to talk about it then let me tell you about my WONDERFUL morning!!!
What if I'm not sure if I'm involved? Can I ask if I'm involved? I WANNA BE INVOLVED!
MOOOOOM! Stop posting on my friends' engagement party invite wall!