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  • Man on trial for murder is concerned about his giant neck tattoo of the word "MURDER."

    posted 1 hour ago


    Could be worse. He could have gone with "GUILTY."

    It's hard for a jury to remain impartial, harder still when the guy on trial has the crime he's being tried for written all over his neck.

    At some point in time, Jeffrey Chapman decided to have the word "MURDER" tattooed backwards across his neck. Not a big deal, we all like to be reminded of our favorite things every time we look in a mirror. But in a wacky coincidence, Chapman is about to be put on trial for the 2011 murder of Damon Galliart, whose body was found by hunters in a ditch in Great Bend, KS. What are the odds?

    According to the New York Daily News, Chapman's lawyer filed a motion to have the tattoo removed or blacked out before the trial, claiming the jury might have trouble remaining impartial if they see that the defendent loves murder so much that he wanted it to be the thing that connects his head to his body. Prosecutors are fine with Chapman covering up the tattoo, but they don't want to transport Chapman to a licensed tattoo artist to have the tattoo inked over.

    The only alternative left is to pick a jury full of people who also have the word "MURDER" tattooed on their necks. It is still a jury of one's peers, correct?

    Couldn't Chapman have just worn his crime on a novelty tee shirt, like the guy in this mugshot who got busted for DUI?

    (by Bob Powers)

  • The NYPD tried to connect with Twitter users and took a #beating.

    posted yesterday


     It went downhill from here.

    The NYPD attempted to create a dialogue with Twitter users today, and the result was about as successful as a recruitment booth at Coachella.

    It started when the above tweet was sent out from the @NYPDnews Twitter feed which asked "Do you have a photo w/ a member of the NYPD? Tweet us & tag it #myNYPD. It may be featured on our Facebook." A few pleasant photos of smiling faces and thumbs up trickled in, then the hashtag began trending, and the twitter-verse did what it usually does whenever a large, out-of-touch organization attempts to create a dialogue with a lame hashtag - they got bombarded by Twitter users more than happy to play along.

    [ Via Gawker ]
  • A strip club is suing a doctor for racking up 135K in bills then claiming he was drugged.

    posted yesterday


    Doctor is most likely not pictured here. (Getty)

    How many times has this happened to you? You're a cardiologist who stops by a famous “gentlemen’s” club in Manhattan that's been in business for decades, when they drug you, take your credit card and rack up tens of thousands of dollars worth of charges for meals, drinks, and private dances, get you to sign the card without you being aware of any of it, then you go back three more times and the same thing happens? Never? Well that's what one doctor claims happened to him and now the strip - I mean, gentlemen’s club is suing him for the $135K tab he's refusing to pay.

    Scores in Manhattan claims Zyad Kivarkas Younan, who works at Robert Wood Johnson (not making that up) University, went to the club four times over and ten-day period and asked to be provided with "food, beverages, and services." Scores manager Stephen Hyman (again...) laughed at the drugging claim, and said, "He was coherent until he saw the bill - or his wife saw the bill."

    The place charges $20 at the door, serves $250 meals and $1,000 bottles of champagne, so guys sobering up and freaking out at the bill is probably a common occurrence. That said, you'd think Younan having to admit to his wife that he spent the summer house money on $35 Buffalo Wings would be bad enough, but now he's famous as the clown who's trying to lie his way out of paying a $135K tab. That’s not very "gentlemanly."

    (by Jonathan Corbett)

  • HBO Go's new ads perfectly explain why you should steal an HBO Go password instead of sharing stolen cable with your parents.

    posted yesterday

    HBO Go: "The stuff you want to tell everyone you watched is also
    the stuff you never want to watch with anyone else."

    These ads from HBO for their online streaming service HBO Go were released yesterday, but we were so busy going over every detail of this Sunday's Game of Thrones for our recap of that episode that we are just enjoying them now. Having just bathed in the often-uncomfortable sexual moments of GoT (really, really uncomfortable this week), we can fully sympathize with these teenagers and parents who don't want to be anywhere near each other during the many steamy, frank, violent, and just way-too-honest moments in the network's acclaimed shows. And even though I'm 29, I'm still a big fan of the well-timed bathroom break when I go home to visit my mom and we decide to watch a movie or anything HBO. Here are the rest of these great, unnerving ads:

    [ Via HBO ]
  • A bunch of kids spotted Charlie Sheen partying in Paris and turned it into a photo op.

    posted yesterday


    Lit up in the City of Light. (via)

    If someone told me they ran into a drunk Charlie Sheen in Paris recently, I'd assume they meant the Paris Las Vegas Hotel. Because it's hard to imagine Charlie sitting anywhere for eleven hours, let alone while strapped into a seat on an international flight and unable to smoke. That's why a bunch of American kids on vacation were startled recently when they ran into a well-oiled Masheen in actual Paris. Charlie, who alway seems to be up for making friends and having a good time (unless he thinks you just stole his watch), happily posed for pictures, and even planted a few kisses on his new pals, possibly believing they were butch-looking French chicks.

    [ Via Reddit ]
  • Newborn kittens accidentally shipped over 100 miles with computer equipment.

    posted yesterday

    Wooo! Wooo! Let's ride it again! Wooo! Wooo!

    Here's what (probably) happened: a momma cat had some kittens. She placed them in a box that was about to be shipped, because boxes and other small spaces seem like a safe place to hide some kittens. Then, a human taped up the box, because from a human's perspective, boxes are a great place to hide things you're going to sell later. On this day, the human definition of what a box is for and the cat definition collided, which was almost disastrous for these kittens, as ABC10 San Diego reports.

    They were boxed up with some fiberglass equipment* and shipped from Hollywood to a Cox Communications warehouse Chula Vista, CA, a distance of over 100 miles. "They were kinda very, very lucky that they didn't fall out of it in transport or when we were unloading the trucks," said J.C. Collins, an employee at the Cox warehouse who was instrumental in saving the kittens. When J.C.'s coworker opened the box and found the little mewling furballs, Cox recognized that they were way too young to be handled by a bunch of warehouse guys (maybe the umbilical cords gave it away?). He called his nephew at the San Diego Humane Society, which luckily has one of the few kitten infirmaries in existence (really? We don't have enough kitten infirmaries? Come on, humanity). 

    Now the kittens are fat and happy and Internet-famous, just like all cats should be. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go order some communications equipment and cross my fingers.

    *The phrase "fiberglass equipment" appears in every story about this, although I can't figure out what it is...is it a very lightweight computer that shatters into deadly shards at high speeds? Did one person at ABC 10 mishear "fiber optics," and then the whole Internet reprinted that typo? I'm gonna go ahead and wager that that's the case.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Woman gets back at online dating creeps by drawing them with tiny penises and posting to Instagram.

    posted yesterday


    Surest sign of a long penis is its owner's need to announce that fact to the world. 
    (via Instagram)

    When 23-year-old Anna Gensler, an artist, joined Tinder six months ago, she was hoping to meet guys. Instead, she was matched with a whole bunch of creeps. Their opening texts ranged in message and tone from "I have a long penis" to "Bet your [sic] tight." Gensler was—like most women on dating sites—put off by the dudes, who seemed to think these disgusting overtures would actually work. 

    (Images after the jump slightly NSFW for poorly drawn hint of penis.)

  • If Game of Thrones took place entirely on Facebook - Season 4, Episode 3.

    posted yesterday

  • Ellen Page wielded her power and fame last night to arbitrarily rename people's dogs.

    posted yesterday


    I have a feeling "Carrots" would have preferred being named "Steak." (via @EllenPage)

    Ellen Page is pretty widely adored for being a fun and, by all accounts, nice indie icon, and this has given her a lot of power. While this power sometimes manifests itself in the usual celebrity forms—like helping to make the world more accepting by just being who she is—it is also a power she can wield capriciously for her own amusement (and everyone else's). Specifically, she has the power to rename your dog and make you feel honored in the process (no word yet on how the dogs feel). It all started last night on Twitter:

  • 5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 22, 2014

    posted yesterday

    Leonardo DiCaprio might have a job playing Jobs, a cat has lost all its money, powdered alcohol is dust in the wind, and more...

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